I’ve just finished a book entitled “Don’t take Yes for an answer,” by Steve Herz. Although focused on business situations, the book is a great reminder that there is room for improvement in every area of life. It’s also contains a great lesson for dancers.
Starting back in the 1970’s, a subtle shift in our culture began with a well-intentioned objective. We saw that there was psychological value in recognizing people’s effort even if they didn’t achieve the top of the field. The goal was to build self-esteem, and that is admirable. Society as a whole could gain from looking at the effort people made, which contributed to positive energy that ultimately helps everyone.
Unfortunately, there’s an inevitable scope creep that comes from such initiatives. What started out with a very positive purpose has become something we didn’t intend. Today, people are so afraid to offend that they will give everyone in the race the same level of recognition. Our desire to build self-esteem means we no longer tell the truth.
A number of years ago, at an elementary school sports day, I watched as one boy cut across the middle of the field to get ahead of the rest of the group. If you thought he would be disqualified, think again. School officials were so afraid to offend him that they actually gave him the winner’s trophy. This is just wrong, and doesn’t help anyone.
Why does this matter? Because if things continue down that path, our society will be so immersed in mediocrity that ultimately we will no longer recognize or value quality in any area of life.
In the workplace, there are people who work hard and those who put in a mediocre effort. That’s just real life. Unfortunately, in today’s culture, people are no longer willing to call out those who don’t meet expectations. With this need to build everyone’s self-esteem, mediocre employees will be constantly told that they are doing great even when they aren’t. Even worse, those who genuinely want to improve will ask how they are doing only to be told “You’re doing amazing.” Nobody wants to tell them the truth! So they are lied to and can’t see where they need to make changes. They get passed over again and again for promotions even though all the signals around them are telling them that they are next in line for that promotion.
The athletic world, for the most part, operates a little differently. Athletes are able to see where they fall short, because there’s only one winner. The recently completed Tour de France was one of the best that I can recall. Sir Mark Cavendish became the Greatest of All Time by winning his 35th stage, beating a previous record held for 51 years. Binian Girmay of Eritrea showed his skill by becoming the first black African rider to ever win a stage of the Tour de France, and he did it three times. Tadej Pogacar had been determined to win the Tour, and did so easily, winning a total of six stages. Jonas Vingegaard, who had suffered life-threatening injuries just three months earlier, puncturing his lungs and breaking a collar bone and multiple ribs, managed to place second, including a stage win. In athletic competitions it’s not enough to simply participate. There’s one winner, and only one trophy. The truth is right there in front of everyone.
To achieve that first place finish, athletes have to face the reality of where they are in terms of strength, skill and endurance. Because they are able to compare themselves to the rest of the field, there’s a clear and obvious viewpoint. You can see with your own eyes that the first place finisher is better than you. You either need to get better or accept your place going forward.
Taking this idea over to the world of dance, we also have a setting where the best are recognized as the best because of competition. We can see who we admire and work to match that quality. When we fall short, we have to be willing to admit that we aren’t there yet. What Steve points out in his book are a number of ways that we can evaluate our own performance and identify areas that need improvement.
Competition itself may not be enough. I’ve seen many cases where amateur dance competitors think they are amazing because they won an event in which they were the only couple. Many amateur couples jump from Bronze to Championship level years before they are ready because they are too impatient to wait for that skill level to develop. In a few cases, the end result is embarrassing. Couples put in performances that are cringe-worthy because nobody was willing to tell them that they are not at that level. They are told they are great because those around them don’t want to hurt their self-esteem by telling the truth. Nobody is willing to say, “No, you aren’t there yet.” They are surrounded by proverbial yes-men, and that might even include their coaches.
Here are some ways you can help evaluate your own ability, so that you don’t just take yes for an answer:
- Work on basics. You can never spend too much time working on the basic steps. They are the foundation of great performances. The best couples are continually working on the most basic technique, recognizing that this is essential to produce awesome complex movements.
- Be open to criticism. We used to ask our coach to honestly assess our skill; to let us know if we were dancing at a level worthy of the skill level we were competing in. After Wendy’s serious Labral tear that put her out of commission for a full year, we continued to practice but worried that we had lost too much of our quality to remain competitive. We asked our coach to give us an honest critique before we danced our final competition. He said it was still good enough to win, and we did. But we were willing to accept a different answer.
- Video yourself. Using video is perhaps the best way to evaluate your performance. I always hated watching video of myself dancing, because all the flaws and shortcomings would scream out at me. But that was the point. By seeing where I need to improve, even today, I am able to continue to get better. Try comparing your technique on a specific figure by recording it from the same angle as someone whom you admire doing the same pattern. Watch those videos side by side to see where you need to do better. Don’t be discouraged by the comparison but work to get closer to the result you want.
- Set goals. It’s hard to improve yourself if you don’t have some kind of clear goal that you’re working towards. It doesn’t have to be a big goal but there needs to be something ahead that you’re aiming for. Identify that and then track your progress to see yourself getting better. This will encourage you and help keep you focused.
Let me know if you have anything to add, or if you have questions. I’ll be sure to give you honest answers, even if they aren’t what you want to hear.
